Death - Beginning of an End

It's been more than a month after my last post.... as i really couldnt find the mood to write anything nice... although I'm still carrying my small lil camera around... snapping photos... hoping that 1 day i'll post it in my blog... & eventually somebody will be reading about it...
but then... i dunno is it related to my beloved uncle's death... or just im too lazy to write something after all the boredom & stress...

it's been exactly 1 month & 15 days since my uncle passed away peacefully...
i was once told by a lecturer.... u need guts to observe death...
this is definitely my 1st time of observing a man slowly looses his consciousness... & fall asleep without much of pain....
My uncle... my gu jiong... at the very last moment.... he still cared so much for the family... especially my cousin sis... he had so much love for his girl... where i always heard from my aunty... he would stay up whole night just to wait for her to come home... from the outside... he appeared to be a very bad-tempered man... but then.... i think he's just one of the man which cannot be honest to everyone...
he's really so much stronger than any man on earth... he kept everything to himself... he even faced death all by himself.................








i just couldn't continue anymore..... so now i finally understand... for me... I'm just diverting myself from not thinking bout him.... I'm still having the grief of not seeing him anymore in my life... I'm still crying for what he'd done for his family.... I'm still having pain for losing him as my uncle....

all the memory which i once never think about came back into my mind... he used to tease me during all the family dinner during my childhood years.... he would come to me & telling me that I didn't defecate as he saw worms crawling inside my stomach... I always wondered how could he see that...

Gu Jiong... I believe that you would be able to hear this...

I'm sorry for having some hate in you....
I'm sorry for not noticing that you're sick....

I believe that you would be in heaven now...
Here...
I just wanna say that I'm truly honor you....
you'll be my lifetime benchmark as how strong you were....
I'll always remember you....
Thank you for all the things you taught me...
Thank you for all the happiness & joy you brought to us all...




Happy New Year everybody...